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phoenix
09-03-2005, 12:05 AM
Here’s a silly shot at a bit of brevity; considering the news, I thought we could use a smile and a bit of cheer. By the way, I intended no offense toward the beautiful city of Toledo, Ohio; its name simply worked well in the title of this fanfic.
Keep Writing! phoenix
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Title: Two Nights In Toledo
Author: phoenix
Summary: Don and Charlie’s arrival in New York is delayed by inclement weather.
Rating: PG-13

XXX
Two Nights In Toledo
by phoenix

Charlie was out and Don was jealous. He had never been able to sleep on airplanes, but his travel companion, obviously, had conquered that problem. For a long moment, Don turned to really examine the contorted position his brother had assumed. Charles Eppes was not a big man, but airline seats weren’t comfortable no matter a man’s size; Don tried
to figure out how his younger brother had managed to wedge himself between the window and his chair back with his legs folded into the available space. He looked extremely uncomfortable, but Charlie must have gotten used to seating in airline seats this way since he seemed to be traveling an awful lot of the time these days.

Of course, the fact Charlie had arrived at Don’s FBI office late yesterday, after a full day of teaching classes at CalSci University, then worked eighteen hours straight to finish a FBI high priority security program he had been working on for a few weeks might have been a factor. The dark circles under his younger brother’s eyes actually attracted attention while they waited for their flight; Charlie’s, normal, winter pallor combined with
the horrid circles that developed under his eyes whenever he had been working, incessantly, on a project, combined with two plus day’s worth of dark stubble on his otherwise ashen face, gave him a nearly vampire-like appearance. Of course, Don, who was dragging himself after nine days of intense work on a case without a break, wasn’t looking much better.

In fact, the brothers looked so tired, their father, Alan, sent them off to the airport with a wish that they would ‘both’ get some rest on their trip to New York; their father said that knowing they were about to attend a major International conference on data collection and security at which Charlie was the keynote speaker. In addition to his brother’s high stress
obligations at the conference, Don had been volunteered by his current boss, Rachel Orlowski, to work for the FBI’s New York based security detail during the week long conference. It was weird to think their father’s desire for them to get rest at a conference where both of his sons would be terribly busy, actually, made sense, but that was simply one example of how busy each of the Eppes brothers had been this entire year.

After a trip to the bathroom to stretch out a kink in his legs, Don resettled into his seat, then opened his copy of their travel itinerary and conference agenda. He checked his watch thinking through the fact their flight from Los Angeles to New York should take approximately six hours, then Don gazed out the window. They took off late due to bad weather across the entire North American continent, plus a severe snow storm which had
severely backlogged operations in major hubs such as Chicago. Now, they were circling and something told him the nasty ‘Nor-Easterner’ snowstorm they thought had worked its way out over the Atlantic Ocean was, instead, hovering beneath their plane. Seconds after Don thought those thoughts, the plane took a sudden dip, then jolted around as the pilots moved to exit the storm’s unannounced air pockets. Charlie had been startled awake and was, instantly, alert; as alert as someone severely sleep deprived could be after three hours of frequently interrupted rest.

“You’ll have to get me a wheelchair when we land.”

“What ... Why?”

Don chuckled at the teasing angst on Charlie’s face.

“Well, besides my grand good fortune in inheriting crazed hair and small stature genes from the Brodsky portion of our family tree, I’ve also been seeing a doctor regarding the ever increasing arthritis which has been nagging my knees and hips. Lately, my left hip tends to argue with me on a daily basis and when it rains, like it has in Pasadena this winter, my lower back joins in the fracas. If this turbulence is any measure of the amount of moisture in the storm outside, by the time we land, you’ll have a cripple for a conference associate.”

“From the look of those clouds, I better get a wheelchair on skies instead of wheels.”

Charlie rubbed his face while they shared a quiet chuckle, then turned to stare out the window with his brother. Being native sons of Southern California, neither of them was an expert, but the snowstorm outside definitely looked unfriendly.

“Why couldn’t they have this conference someplace warm?”

Don shrugged his shoulders when his brother looked in his direction for an answer. They shared another chuckle, then returned their stares to the storm clouds outside the plane’s window.

XXXXX Two Hours Later XXXXX

“So, Charlie?” Don leaned toward his brother’s ear while they continued to wait in the long line outside the airline’s Customer Service Department, “I don’t suppose Toledo, Ohio, was ever on your ‘must see’ list of American destinations.”

“No,” he laughed with his older brother, “but I doubt it was on your list either so we’re even.”

“That’s true.”

XXXXX Six Hours Later XXXXX

“Next ... C. Eppes.”

“Yes.”

“Welcome to The Pinedale Lodge.”

“Thanks.”

“May I see your paperwork from the airline, plus a photo ID, Sir.”

“Certainly.”

Don held in a laugh when the desk clerk greeted them, then took the stack of airline generated paperwork from Charlie. The clerk had repeated that same greeting more times than he could count while they waited at the end of a line full of exhausted passengers. Don couldn’t help laughing as his mind reviewed the multiple sarcastic comments Charlie
mumbled under his breath each time the greeting was given. Actually, his agitated travel companion was correct, they hadn’t seen one, not one, pine tree since leaving the Toledo airport. Where did this ‘Pinedale’ name come from?

They were in one of the last groups of people assigned to ground transportation vans and taken to check-in at hotels throughout the Toledo, Ohio, area. The majority of American, and Canadian, airports were closed from the Mississippi River east to the Atlantic Ocean. They were lucky to have a place to check-in since planes where landing at whichever
airports were open, leaving passengers stuck inside terminals where the storm had shut down ground transportation. As for the Eppes situation, Don and Charlie were STUCK in Toledo, at least for tonight. The airline promised to reassign passengers as airports reopened in the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours, but their group was told they shouldn’t expect a phone call regarding a status update until the following afternoon.

Since they were headed to New York City, the airline agent suggested buses might be arranged instead of another flight. It didn’t matter tonight since a deadly blizzard had virtually shut down all forms of transportation in the entire Eastern half of the United States. It was a mess, but Don and Charlie had taken their fate well, much better than their flight mates. Secretly, after working endless hours during the weeks before their trip, the two brothers were silently plotting to sleep, sleep, and maybe sleep some more in whatever hotel room the airline provided.

“I need you to sign here, Mr. Eppes.”

Charlie examined the registration form, “There must be a mistake.”

Don moved closer to his brother, but the clerk took the paperwork back before they had a chance to look it over together.

“No, there are no mistakes on here, Sir. In fact, this is a real nice room you and your miss’us have been assigned.”

Don ears perked up as he leaned in further to see the paperwork.

Charlie pointed to the names on the top of the page, “D. Eppes and I are traveling together, on the same itinerary, but we aren’t husband and wife. This is my brother, Don.”

The exhausted hotel clerk nodded in Don’s direction, but answered, “We didn’t mix it up; the airline has you registered as a couple.”

“What’s the room like?”

Don was trying not to laugh at the irritation in Charlie’s voice; he stepped back and decided to observe his little brother in action ... He had no doubt Charlie would see to it the room assignment was straightened out.

“Well,” the clerk shrugged his shoulders, “this is a problem. I gave you and the miss’us the nicest room in the place, but it was also the last room in the place. It’s a big room with a king-sized bed and a heart shaped bath tub. I’ll have to call the airline and check for vacancies elsewhere, but with this storm ...”

“Please, check, Sir. Thank you. We’ll accept any other arrangement.”

Don held in a laugh, choking out, “Yes, please check.”

He continued to chuckle, ignoring the definite tone of exasperation in Charlie’s voice. The clerk nodded to them and went back in the office to make calls. Don and Charlie stood motionless at the desk while they each strained to hear the clerk’s end of the conversation with the airline.

“I’m sorry, Gentlemen, but every hotel room in Toledo, and for miles around Toledo, is booked. Nothing is moving and the buses, trucks, cars, and airline folks have filled the hotel rooms. This is one heck of a storm you know.”

“Yes,” Charlie stood back from the desk and rubbed his eyes, “we know.”

“It’s a nice room.” The clerk looked to Don since Charlie appeared too tired to think, adding, “There’s the King-sized bed, a full bathroom with that special Jacuzzi bathtub, plus a refrigerator, coffee maker, and the airline is providing all the movies you can watch for free. In addition, the diner and food mart across the parking lot is open twenty-four
hours and the airline is providing a twenty percent discount on the tab there, too. It isn’t ‘Tavern On The Green,’ but it ain’t bad, either.”

“Take the room, Charlie.” Don smiled and shrugged his shoulders, “I’ll camp out on the floor until something opens up somewhere else.”

“That would make sense if ‘something’ was going to ‘open up,’ Don, but it isn’t going to. At least, it isn’t going to until we don’t need a room anymore.”

Suddenly, Charlie snapped his fingers, then headed for the lobby door.

“Wait here ... I’ll be right back.”

Don and the clerk exchanged looks, then each leaned on a section of the counter while they waited. Within a few minutes, Charlie was back with a man who had been sitting a few rows ahead of them on the plane; in fact, while they were waiting in one line, he and his wife had been talking to the Eppes brothers about their plans for a honeymoon of skiing in Vermont. Within minutes, Charlie was back in the office and had exchanged room assignments with the young newlyweds who gladly moved into the nicer of the two rooms. Before another half an hour had passed, Charlie and Don were finished waiting for the couple to move their things and turn in their original keys; Charlie, once again, read
over the paperwork offered by the clerk, then took a pen out of the clerk’s hand.

“Do I need to sign anything else?”

“No, Sir.”

The clerk handed them each a key to their room with two queen-sized beds, then he retreated into his office.

“Com’on, Charlie.” Don quickly moved toward the door and picked up his bags, “You’re exhausted and so am I; this has been one hell of a day, let’s get some sleep.”

“I hear that!”

They headed up the stairs to their room in the farthest corner of the building.

“How did you know were to find that young couple, Charlie.”

He sighed before starting up the third flight of stairs behind his brother, “We didn’t have much to do while everyone else was checked in, so I overheard the clerk’s conversations with everyone he assigned rooms to. You might not of heard this about me ... But I have a weird ability to remember numbers; for instance, the numbers in a hotel room assignment.”

Don chuckled, then put his key in their door.

“Think of it, Charlie, you managed to fight our way into this room with two queen-sized beds, a bathroom, and all the amenities we could ever want from a truck stop hotel at our disposal.” He stepped inside and looked around, then added, “It is relatively clean and definitely warmer than the lobby.”

“Thank goodness; it was freezing down there.”

Charlie followed his brother inside, then shut the door.

XXXXX One Hour Later XXXXX

Don had won when they flipped a coin to see who got the shower first. Now, he picked through the items Charlie bought at the food mart while he was in the bathroom. Luckily, since they had checked in so late, the hotel hadn’t run out of hot water, so Charlie headed straight into the shower when his brother had finished. Actually, the best thing their poor
room had going for it was the fact the shower was clean with an, apparent, abundance of hot water. The Pinedale Lodge was what it appeared to be when their van pulled up; it was a rundown truck stop hotel located next to a busy Interstate interchange which was
frequented by truckers, drunks from the bar next to the diner, plus the hotel probably saw its fair share of couples who stopped by for an hour before continuing on their way to another destination.

On his adventure across the parking lot to the food mart, Charlie had purchased orange juice, half and half, a six-pack of beer, and pretzels. They had discussed the coffee situation before he left, since their coffee maker had plenty of coffee but no cream for Don, but nothing else was mentioned. Charlie had said he was going to buy the creamer at
the truck stop’s convenience store, check out the diner’s menu, then wander back to their room. Luckily, he had stopped to buy the beer, thus Don helped himself to one and decided he liked his brother’s spontaneous additions to their grocery list.

He settled on his bed with a magazine from the airport, a beer, and the bag of pretzels. The room was hot so Don turned the electric heater down, then returned to his reading. Besides the sound of their shower, he could hear a ton of noise outside their room. In fact, Don laughed as he realized this might be one of the noisiest hotels he had ever checked
into for a night. The hotel appeared to have been built in the 1940s, or early 1950s, and had painted cement floors in the hallways, paper thin ceilings and walls, plus hollow metal doors which resounded with a ‘thud’ as they banged shut.

When the shower went off, Don glanced at the clock and noticed it was easing past two in the morning. It was hard to believe they took the 9AM New York flight, then spent most of their day waiting in line after line only to make it as far as the Pinedale Lodge in Toledo. He reached into his backpack and pulled out his cell phone, then left a voice message to bring his boss up to date on exactly how wrong their day had gone. After
listening to his message, hearing the story he wouldn’t believe if Don hadn’t been living it himself, Don was chuckling to himself when Charlie exited the bathroom.

“What?”

“I’m trying to decide how to bring my boss up to speed on our day.”

“That is a quandary.” Charlie dug through one of his bags, “Why don’t you start with ‘Once upon a time, a rotten group of people scheduled a conference for the middle of February in New York City despite the fact Bermuda would have been a better option.’”

“I like that!”

Don laughed and was half tempted to quote him when they spoke to Alan later in the morning. Charlie sat down on the floor to pull on his socks, then began to rearrange clothes to fit in the laundry he had brought out from the bathroom. Don finished his message, then put away his phone and settled back to read his magazine. After his brother grabbed a beer, he sat across the way, on the side of his bed, rooting through a stack of
books and magazines.

“It’s really hot in here.”

Don rolled toward the electric heater planning on turning it down some more.

“I’m freezing!”

Don smiled as his eyes rolled in their sockets; they had already hit an all too familiar impasse from whenever they coexisted in the same house or, in this case, hotel room ... Room temperature. He left the temperature control where it was, then threw his magazine on the bed, sat his beer down on the night stand and removed his socks. While Charlie
continued to add clothing, including a heavy Princeton sweatshirt, Don stayed in his crewneck T-shirt and sweatpants on top of the covers.

“Would you like this? I’m certainly not going to need it.”

Charlie nodded as he tossed the heavy bedspread from the foot of his bed across the way. After scooting under his double layer of covers, he began to feel a bit warmer. They each attempted to read and relax while hoping sleep would ease its way into their beings. Suddenly, each of the brothers began to notice the quiet which descended in their room,
actually, highlighted the noise from elsewhere; it seemed as if they could hear a pencil dropped floors away. Regrettably, the Pinedale Lodge had one heck of an echo problem.

“This could be a wasted effort in this noisy old hotel,” Charlie flipped his book shut and gulped the last of his beer, “but I’m beat.”

He got up and threw out both of their beer cans, then walked over the second beer Don requested before climbing back under his thick layer of covers. Don remained flopped across the top of his bed reading his magazine as Charlie reached up and turned out the light on his side of the night stand.

“Night.”

“Good night.”

XXXXX An Hour Later - Very Early The Following Morning XXXXX

From his breathing, Don guessed Charlie had drifted right to sleep. He finished his magazine, but still felt too jittery to sleep; since his days hunting down wanted criminals, Don never slept well in hotels. He didn’t want to make noise by turning on the television, but had finished the magazine he bought to read on the plane. Looking around for something else to read, Don noticed Charlie’s book on the night stand and reached for it hoping it would be interesting.

Don looked at the cover, then flipped through the pages of his brother’s book. It was hard, but he held in an intense desire to laugh out loud. Portions of the book were written in a foreign language with tons of dots, double dots, and various slashes over the letters, then the rest of the book was filled with equations; he guessed it was probably some high
level math theory stuff, but it sure wasn’t going to be of any interest to him. He leaned over and pulled out the carry-on bag Charlie had left open under the night stand; it was filled to overflowing with his notebooks, plus other books that were nearly falling out of the bag. Much to Don’s chagrin, these books appeared to be in a wide variety of languages, none of which were English. One book was definitely in German since Don
guessed at some of the words from his ‘Hogan’s Heros’ exposure to German, but the other languages were unknown to him. With his search for reading material turning out to be a disappointing adventure, Don decided to try to sleep; he put Charlie’s things back, then turned out the light.

He had barely turned out the light when the noise level started to increase. First, a car alarm began to blare and the paper thin walls made it sound as if the car was in the room with them. Don laid still and could only hope Charlie was tired enough to sleep through the obnoxious alarm. Finally, the owner, or a timer, shut off the alarm and the hotel settled
back into its unexpectedly filled-to-capacity noises. Don smiled since the loud noises around them didn’t seem as bad now that he had made it through the car alarm’s squeals. He snuggled down into his pillows and, for the first time, began to feel sleepy.

Obviously, from the toilets flushing and various other noises, the car alarm had awakened the majority of the hotel’s guests. Most of them, like the Eppes brothers, settled back into their covers and prepared to attempt a few hours sleep while hoping the phone would ring with good news from the airline. In the room behind Don and Charlie’s headboards, a
couple decided not to go back to sleep. At first, Don heard them talking, then their bed began to creak suspiciously, and he couldn’t help letting out a sigh while praying what he thought was going to happen wouldn’t happen. Sadly, it soon became obvious the couple on the other side of their paper thin wall wasn’t going back to sleep and their amorous
sounds increased in intensity as the couple’s physical movements began echoing loudly throughout both rooms.

Don concentrated on lying still, but it became increasingly difficult not to laugh, although he continued to hope Charlie was asleep. There was definitely nothing shy about the couple next door, plus they didn’t seem to be in any hurry. Finally, Don turned to look at the wall between their beds feeling certain it would be swaying back and forth in the dull light coming in around the curtains. Suddenly, a new sound filtered into his consciousness; recognizing his brother’s laugh, he sat up, then threw a pillow toward Charlie’s bed.

“I thought you were sleeping!”

Charlie couldn’t stop laughing to answer so Don flopped back on top of his bed and laughed with him. Finally, there was a loud series of moans, groans, and a squeal, then silence rang out from the other side of the wall. The brothers held their breath for a moment, then each of them burst into another round of uncontrolled laughter.

“That guy is either eighteen or he is on medication!”

Don agreed, adding, “We’ll probably see them in the morning. I’ll bet you ten it’s medication since I thought they would never finish!”

“Okay, I’ll see your ten and take the teenage energy side of that bet.”

They laughed some more; it felt good to relax and release some of the tension from their day.

“Man, it feels good to laugh.”

Don felt so much better; finally, he admitted, “I was hoping you were sleeping.”

“Through that!”

“No!” He joined his brother in another round of freeing laughter, “Before that, when it was only regular noisy around here.”

“I did sleep; at least, I think I did, but I heard the car alarm.”

“No wonder.” Don snuggled back down into his pillows, “Good night.”

“Night.”

Finally, they both eased into a much needed sleep. A few hours later, it was slightly bright around their curtains when someone somewhere in the lodge began to loudly snore. Don aroused enough to lift his head and look around their room; he was awake enough to feel disgusted by the quality of the Pinedale Lodge’s construction, but kept his thoughts to himself since Charlie truly appeared to be sleeping. Having assessed their surroundings
enough to feel safe closing his eyes, Don eased back into a deep sleep. It would be hours before they headed out for breakfast which Don had to buy once they had met the young couple from the room next door.

XXXXX That Afternoon XXXXX

“I don’t know about you, but my clothes are soaked through.”

“Me, too.”

Charlie answered while using a parking curb to knock snow from the soles of his shoes.

“That was a better workout than the gym. I guess folks stuck at hotels in Toledo know how to conduct one heck of a snowball fight, must be the pent-up frustration.”

They walked across the parking lot towards the hotel. It was late afternoon and they had enjoyed a great day which was spent drinking too much coffee, talking, then joining their fellow airline passengers in one heck of a snowball fight. Although Charlie had finished some work on his conference presentation when they first got up that morning, Don had
managed to keep him away from his computer the rest of the day; it was a nice break, for both Eppes men.

“I’ll flip you to see who gets in the shower first.”

“Oh, no.” Charlie’s voice sounded adamant, “You got the shower first last night; it’s my turn and I’m freezing.”

“Man,” Don’s walk turned into a run toward their hotel in order to get to the shower before his brother, “you guys from LA are whimps.”

With that ... A large, wet, perfectly aimed snowball hit him in the back of the neck, then began to slide down his back. Don wheeled around only to be greeted with a barrage of well placed snowballs across the front of his torso.

“Why you little ...”

He took off after his brother, but Charlie had a big head start.

XXX One Hour Later XXX

Don was finishing in the shower while Charlie tried to figure out how to rig a temporary drying rack between two chairs and a suitcase placed close to the heating vent. He laid his wet clothing on half of the space and Don’s on the other half. Since he was already showered and dressed, Charlie settled on his bed with one of his books.

Don wouldn’t admit it to Charlie, but he was nearly frozen by the time his turn in the shower came around, so he took extra time and let the hot water work on a few of the kinks in his neck. Earlier in the day, the airline had called to inform them there was no way they were leaving Toledo until the following morning. If it wasn’t delayed by other delegates inability to fly into New York, they were going to miss the entire first day of the conference and might miss the entire second day from the way the airline employee explained things.

Don stood in the shower reviewing the various people they observed during their excursion around the truck stop. There were six hotels within walking distance of the diner and food mart which made for an interesting mix of humanity. Don and Charlie had eaten a leisurely breakfast, then gave up their seats so others could eat. The bar beside the diner had been open early for people to relax and drink coffee, or buy liquor if they could handle it first thing in the morning. They talked and talked, with each other and those around them, then felt hungry enough to get back in line to eat lunch. They ordered a sandwich in the bar while continuing their various conversations; after months of being extremely busy, and only seeing each other when Charlie worked on one of Don’s FBI
cases, it felt good to catch up with one another.

When he finally emerged from the shower, Don figured his brother must be thinking he slipped down the drain, but when he rushed into the outer room, Charlie was sound asleep with a book in his hands. Don attempted to be quiet while he finished dressing, then curled up on top of his bed and took a nap, too.

XXXXX Late That Evening XXXXX

“People stuck at truck stops during snowstorms certainly know how to drink!”

He ignored Charlie’s tease while moving past him to speak, again, with a group of ladies at the end of the bar who had identified themselves as members of a roller derby team. Don chuckled to himself since he had assumed roller derby teams no longer existed; man, he was definitely feeling that last shot, but accepted the beer his new friend, Charlene,
handed him. Earlier, after another meal in the diner, Don and Charlie joined the large crowd enjoying music, dancing, and way too much liquor in the bar.

While he had spent the evening speaking with a wide variety of ladies, Charlie ended up spending a good portion of his evening talking to a lady named, Tonya Simms. As it turned out, Tonya was a history professor at Northwestern University, thus she and Charlie had no trouble finding things to talk about. Actually, it was easy for Don, and everyone else in the bar, to see they were having a great time together; as evening slowly
moved toward morning, Tonya and Charlie decided to part ways when the bartender announced ‘last call,’ but they did exchange home telephone numbers.

On the way back to their room, Charlie walked beside Don; only offering him assistance when the snow, or a snow covered curb, threatened to trip him.

“I had a great time; for once, I had no worries ... The entire place was full of non-drivers.”

“I hadn’t thought of that, Don.”

“Ya know what they say ... Once a cop, always a cop.”

“There are worse things to be accused of in this world.”

He turned around to say something, but had moved too fast, then didn’t argue when Charlie reached out and held a steadying hand on his shoulder; when the world stopped spinning, Don offered his brother a sincere smile while teasing, “Thanks, Chuck.”

Charlie didn’t even try not to laugh at his brother, “You are most certainly welcome.”

“We’ve had two great nights in Toledo. Who’da thunk it!”

“I agree ... Who’da thunk it.”

“You know, Charlie ... I’m, actually, glad we got stuck here ... H_ll, I finally caught up on some sleep.”

Charlie opened the door, then waved his drunken brother inside, “Now, I know you’ve had way too much to drink. You’re glad we’ve been stuck for two nights in Toledo?”

“Yep ... I am and I’m almost sorry the airline decided we can leave in the morning.”

Charlie’s eyebrow shot up his forehead, but he held his tongue. Instead, he helped Don remove his snow covered shoes after he collapsed across the top of his bed.

He pulled a cover over his already snoring sibling, “I won’t miss the wonders of the Pinedale Lodge, but I had a good time, too, Don.”

After he cleaned up, Charlie climbed under the covers of his bed and, quickly, fell into a deep sleep. Despite their, still, loud environment, they managed a few hours rest. As requested, their phone screamed with a wake-up call at exactly 8AM. They were dressed, packed, and ready when the bus loaded at 8:45AM. A few hours later, they were, finally,
checking into the convention where Charlie was, immediately, swept away into a sea of convention goers trying to ask him questions about the material he was going to present. Don, too, was quickly back to work protecting, not only his brother, but the women and men from across the globe who had gathered at the convention.

Less than a week later, the Eppes brothers were home in Southern California, back to the normal ebb and flow of their rather extraordinary lives. They wouldn’t often speak of it, often, and when they did it was in an effort to tease one another, but Don and Charlie realized there was little chance of their having a solid block of time together, again. Thus,
in each man’s heart, there would always be a soft spot for a place called the Pinedale Lodge and their memories of the two nights they were stuck in Toledo, Ohio, together.

XXX The End XXX
Thank you for reading my story
Please forgive typos and continuity errors
phoenixbv@yahoo.com

Remember to check out Wolfpup’s Numb3rs fanfic archives at:
http://www.cslibrary.us/index.html

DeeLerious
09-03-2005, 12:40 AM
Awesome work! I loved every word! I think it did them good to take a trip together!:)

bree1387
09-03-2005, 05:32 PM
I usually don't go for the light hearted stuff, but you managed to catch and keep my attention. I loved the Don/Charlie bonding. Good job!
Megan

WynterSnow
09-03-2005, 09:53 PM
Another excellent story. Loved the humor and the brotherly bonding without an overdose of sugar. Nice to see a lighthearted story on the boards for a change.

Cat_Willow
09-04-2005, 06:06 PM
Great story! I was glad to see Charlie and Don have some time together - and enjoy it, too!

Who won the bet? :)

BeckyS
09-04-2005, 08:05 PM
Y'know, I posted a comment on this story, but it seems to have disappeared. It was the afternoon of the board going weird, so I can only assume that when the weirdness went away, it took my post with it. Ah, well. I'm finally back with enough time to repost, if I can remember what I said!

I loved this story. I've been to Toledo, grew up in Ohio (though not Toledo), and I found your story true to the weather, traffic, people, strip motels, bars, and general "Ohio-ness".

It was fun! I loved how tired Charlie and Don were and how they kept trying to get enough sleep. I liked how Don sort of watched out for Charlie, trying to make sure he was okay while still holding his big-brother position over his head. I liked how Charlie got around Don in little-brother style. You really got that relationship down.

One technical comment -- you're getting adjectives mixed up with parenthetical phrases and unnecessarily setting them off with commas. Your story will read more smoothly without the extra punctuation: "Charlie’s, normal, winter pallor . . ." would be smoother as "Charlie's normal winter pallor . . ." Or: "Charlie had been startled awake and was, instantly, alert . . ." as "Charlie had been startled awake and was instantly alert . . ."

Thank you for another story of yours that I really enjoyed. It's a keeper!

Becky

mathfan9
09-05-2005, 05:38 PM
I had time over Labor Day to read a fanfic, and I'm glad I picked this one to read. It was very cute! You had the characters remain true to their original characterizations very nicely.

shimmerinstars77
09-06-2005, 06:35 AM
I loved this story and all of its warm brotherly scenes!
Made me smile a lot! :D

Juliana
12-28-2005, 03:50 AM
I've gone all mushy inside! That was a beautiful story. 5 stars for warm hearted family fun.

phoenix
12-30-2005, 05:05 PM
Hi:

I had a bit of free time this afternoon and decided to catch up with the 'Numb3rs' crowd. Imagine my delight, and honor, to find you had read, enjoyed, commented on, and brought forward two of my Numb3rs fanfic stories on this board. I'm thrilled you liked my fanfics.

Thank you, Juliana, you more than made my day!!!

Keep writing!
phoenix