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Moonhawk
07-18-2005, 11:58 PM
Ok, here's part five:

Hours later, Charlie and Agent Edgerton were sitting in the glass-enclosed conference room where maps and whiteboards were set up. They were discussing “sniping” in general and the current case in particular, when Agent Edgerton’s well-honed “situational awareness” alerted him to an intruder. He looked up. Don had just entered the office. Charlie glanced in the direction the sniper was looking, and saw Don stalking between the cubicles, steam practically issuing from his ears.

“Uh,oh.” Charlie intoned seriously. “Beware of Darth Don.” Edgerton’s eyebrows went up.

“Darth Don?”

“Um, yeah, well, you see, Don’s always had a bit of a temper and a kind of dark side to him. It’s always best to avoid him when he’s in his Darth Don persona.” Edgerton frowned.

“Everyone has a dark side to them.” He said, shrugging. “It’s what they do - or don’t do - with it that defines whether they’re a “good” or a “bad” person.”

Before Charlie could respond further, however, Don stuck his head in the door to the conference room.

“You got anything?” Don snapped.

“Not yet–“ Edgerton started to reply, but Don cut him off.

“Well we do.” Don told the two men tersely, and stalked away. Edgerton glanced at Charlie, who shrugged.

“Darth Don.” Charlie confirmed, and stood to leave the conference room. Edgerton followed.

“So good of you to join us.” Don told the two men sarcastically, as soon as Charlie and Agent Edgerton had joined the rest of the group around Don’s cubicle. “Maybe you might even have something useful to contribute instead of sitting around playing games.” Charlie flinched, but Edgerton was having none of it.

“Hey!” Edgerton snapped. “This is supposed to be a team effort, not ‘save the day for us’. You called me in, but there are certain things I need, too. Like motive. Without that, neither Charlie nor I can give you any reasonable data. Now, you said you have something. What is it?” Don glared at Edgerton, but George Coleman stepped up beside Edgerton.

“We’ve discovered that all five boys were allegedly sexually assaulted within the last two months.” He told the sniper.

“What!?” Edgerton said, startled. Don took a deep breath, then took over the report, though he was obviously no calmer.

“The last victim, Josh McPherson, was allegedly assaulted by his Uncle, Captain Kevin Moretti of Internal Affairs. Another victim, Lawrence Dombrowski, was allegedly assaulted by his father, Lieutenant Richard Dombrowski of Vice. The other three were allegedly molested by a lawyer named Michael Royce Flavian, who fled the country to avoid indictment. Now, Flavian has been cleared of all the shootings, since he’s out of the country, and his family and friends have all disowned him. We’ve also checked out Moretti’s and Dombrowski’s whereabouts at the times of the murders, but they check out clean, although we know of at least three detectives who are covering for the men, either willingly or out of some form of coercion.”

“So, we’re opening Color of Law cases?” Edgerton asked, referring to an investigation of public corruption by law enforcement officers. Surprisingly, many people don’t know that that is one of the areas of responsibility for the FBI, although most such cases are related to drug trafficking or organized crime.

“Yes.” Don replied, teeth clenched. “In the meantime, we need to find out two things. Number one: did all three of them know a sniper in common who could have committed the shootings, and, number two: how many other boys have been molested who might be targets.”

For hours they researched the problem, Charlie trying to find a pattern to the order in which the boys had been killed, Edgerton scanning personnel dossiers of LAPD snipers, looking for likely candidates, the other agents going over the lives of all three suspected molesters with a fine-toothed comb, looking for more possible victims.

As dawn lightened the sky - but not anyone’s mood - they all gathered in the conference room to compare notes. David went first.

"We finally found a connection between some of the victims. Flavian represented the father of the first victim in an embezzlement case, the mother of the third for stock fraud, and the father of the fourth in another embezzlement case. We've found three other possibles. We've also found out that Dombrowski is cub scout leader for his son's pack, which gives us a dozen possibles for him, while Moretti volunteered time at a Challenger club, which gives him a bunch of possibles, too."

Don's demeanor, if possible, became even more grim at the news, as he clenched both jaw and fists.

Edgerton went next. “I’ve narrowed the list of snipers to three: Lieutenant Ronald Nickerson from South Central, where both Moretti and Dombrowski were assigned, seperately, during the nineties, Lieutenant Lloyd Lewis, also from South Central, and Agent Randall Dewhurst, who moved around a lot, and worked with Moretti and Dombrowski several times in different places throughout their careers before Dewhurst came to the FBI.”

“Dewhurst.” Don made a face. “Merrick called him for this case, but he never did show.”

“Uh, actually, he did.” Charlie told his brother a bit timidly, still mindful that "Darth Don" still held sway over his brother.

“Yeah, we met up with him at the office the shooter used for the Josh McPherson murder.” Edgerton confirmed. “But I pulled rank and took the case away from him.”

“What?!” Don yelled, angrily. “Why the hell am I just hearing about this now! You realize that, if Dewhurst is the shooter, he may decide to make a target out of you?!”

“Yeah, well, better me than another little kid.” Edgerton answered, just as angrily. “At least I’m not defenseless.”

“Yeah, I remember.” Don couldn’t help a wicked smile. “Pull in all three snipers for questioning.”

That afternoon, David gave a summary of the morning’s work. They were back in the conference room.

“Ok, Nickerson was in a car accident during the first shooting, still in the hospital during the second, and in Florida for a conference when the fourth shooting happened.” He shuffled the folders in his hand and opened a different folder. “And Lewis was caring for his mother, who suffered a heart attack just before the third shooting, and at a drug bust during the fifth.”

“So maybe Lewis did the first, second, and fourth, and Nickerson did the third and fifth?” Coleman wondered. Edgerton, however, shook his head.

“I’ve been studying the details of each shooting; time, place, weather, distance, everything, and...well, the style of all the shootings feels the same. My experience and my gut are telling me this is the same guy for all five shootings.”

“Yeah, and you thought the same the last time, too.” Don reminded the sniper maliciously.

“Yeah, and I bowed to Charlie’s theory easy enough last time because I wasn’t married to mine. This time, I know I’m right, and Charlie agrees.” Edgerton shot right back. Beside Coleman, Charlie, still treading on eggshells around his brother, merely nodded.

Which left only Dewhurst.

“Alright, go over this guy’s life with a fine-toothed comb.” Don snapped. “I wanna know everything this guy did on the days of the shootings, from what he had for breakfast to when he took a leak !”

End of Part Five.

Anonymous
07-19-2005, 09:44 AM
You are really keeping us guessing with this. There's been so many twists and turns, I'm getting dizzy! I love it but at the same time, it is driving me crazy that I can't tell what's going to happen next (yes, I do read the end of books first). Looking forward to part 6 - hope to see it soon (please with puppy dog eyes).

Sabrina

DeeLerious
07-19-2005, 09:52 AM
You really did your homework! I loved how you played out the tension between characters, and the depth of the plot.

Jelsemium
07-19-2005, 01:32 PM
This is good so far! Your handling of the investigation is very convincing, IMHO, and I'm really enjoying the interactions between the characters! Plus, Edgerton is my favorite non-regular. It's nice seeing him again.

Just one small problem...

"“So, we’re opening Color of Law cases?” Edgerton asked, referring to an investigation of public corruption by law enforcement officers. Surprisingly, many people don’t know that that is one of the areas of responsibility for the FBI, although most such cases are related to drug trafficking or organized crime."

I find it distracting when an author puts comments/ explanations into a story. This would have worked better for me if the explanation had been worked into the dialog... for example, somebody explaining the term to Charlie.

Moonhawk
07-19-2005, 04:16 PM
I find it distracting when an author puts comments/ explanations into a story. This would have worked better for me if the explanation had been worked into the dialog... for example, somebody explaining the term to Charlie.

Hmmm....Actually, the reason I didn't do it that way is because I've read some things - and, in at least one case, saw a show on TV - where they did that, and made the character they were explaining it to sound like an idiot - because the character in question should have known it in the first place. But you're right, Charlie wouldn't know, and I could do it that way.

After I'm done with this story - and any editing, etc. - I'm going to put it on the CalSci Library, and maybe Patterns or some others. I'll integrate all changes to the finished version there.

Anonymous
07-19-2005, 06:22 PM
I could see where it would work with someone explaining that to Charlie, something like "A Color of Law case is an investigation of public corruption by law enforcement officers. A lot of people don't realize the FBI is responsible for this area, although most of these cases are related to drug trafficking or organized crime." Edgerton explained to Charlie, who nodded his understanding.

Having said that, I didn't think it distracting. I did think it was a nice bit of background info on the FBI and remember thinking at the time that it was a really interesting fact.

I'm sure whatever you decide to do will work wonderfully.

Sabrina